Let me tell you a little something about my 19-year-old self. I dropped out of high school, and spent most of my days indoors, on my computer screen, where all my social interaction took place. I pretended that my life was totally fine, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I realised I wasn’t doing very well. This led me to sign up for a DTS (Discipleship Training School) in Scotland for six months.

I have always yearned for adventure, so the fact that I was leaving home, wasn’t very surprising at all. However, me going to DTS was a surprise! God, had been one of the last things I would think about, and now I was going to spend 6 months studying about Him?! I was so desperate for adventure, that it was the only thing I could think of doing at the time.

A couple of months later, I arrived at Stanley House, in Scotland. The first few days I felt completely miserable, lonely and out of place. Everyone else seemed to fit in perfectly. They appeared to have a deeper connection with God. I did not know exactly what it was, but I was jealous of it. It was clear that I was missing out on something phenomenal! Simply put, I did not have what they had! What I had, was a big empty hole inside me that needed filling up.

A few weeks on, I made the decision to open up my heart, little by little. Almost instantly, my heart felt lighter than it had felt in years. I had finally found something for myself, and it was exhilarating! Little did I know that God was just waiting for this little crack in my armour to start His work in me.

Shortly after, there was a “Holy Spirit” party. This is a party for spending time with God in the best way possible, where there is dancing, music and just doing whatever the Holy Spirit tells you. If you want to sing, sing! If you want to lie on the floor and soak in His presence, then do it.

I did not realise what God had in mind for me… I only made it to the second song before I suddenly started laughing out loud. It began as a giggle, but eventually I ended up rolling on the ground from laughter. It was the most amazing experience of my life! I was completely filled with His joy and overwhelming love. It felt like God was telling me; “I have made you so incredibly beautiful, why on earth would you ever feel negatively about yourself?” He was right! That Holy Spirit encounter I had, lasted nearly three hours. Thinking about it now, it seems unreal, but at the time, those hours flew by.

I still get a smile on my face when I think about it. Words cannot describe how it felt. That was how God came back into my life. He did not use a bang or anything. It was beautiful and I would not change a thing!